I fell back to a scary place... My emotions got the best of me I'll blame it on TOM or PMS but I started feeling really down and just really bad about my weight. There was a run in with some old friends Krispy Kreme, Ben & Jerry, the pizza parlor and even the 7 11 carrot cake I have not had in over 2 years! What caused the back tracking I can't say...a blast from the past has been calling and I have been considering recycling this ex but in all honesty I know better...but I dabble and I get caught up and I get frustrated and well... I get down.
Last year I told myself in 12 months if I am not back to my lowest weight loss (45.6 pounds) I will look into weight loss surgery. A year of effort to get back on track was a safe bet well its July and at my last weigh in I was at 13 pounds loss... at least 10 more than last December. I HATE THE IDEA OF HAVING WLS!!!! But I hate being overweight more... so I posted this fact on a message board I've been on for at least 8 years and I was shocked at how encouraging most people were. Maybe shocked isn't the right sentiment... disappointed I think may be the most appropriate descriptive term. I know they were being supportive but it made me wonder where is that level of support when I post that I returned to the gym or had a good day food wise?
I did not post it to "test" them but it made me think about where I get support from and how that plays a role in this journey. Similarly, I have not been to the gym since last weekend and my workout buddy and I spoke today and she worked out and I was in bed all day and she didn't say "well think about doing 30 mins or something?"
Maybe I am not clear on what my wants and needs are and that isnt fair to others. I always work off the assumption people will give me what I would give to them. But in reality if I don't say it how can they know?
Anyway I went online looking up weight loss surgery info and ended up on you tube watching various videos and good lawd now I know the meaning of aversion therapy lol I went to the gym and did 60 mins on the elliptical after my research lol! I don't think I've ever done that before! Ever. I bought a new book by Kathy Freston called Quantum Wellness-A Practical & Spiritual Guide to Health & Happiness. Sounds right up my alley. I'll let you know how it goes!
I also bought Oxygen Magazine and my girl Alicia Marie had a great pic & quote!
"I can't
is a
state of mind
I won't
entertain"
Last year I told myself in 12 months if I am not back to my lowest weight loss (45.6 pounds) I will look into weight loss surgery. A year of effort to get back on track was a safe bet well its July and at my last weigh in I was at 13 pounds loss... at least 10 more than last December. I HATE THE IDEA OF HAVING WLS!!!! But I hate being overweight more... so I posted this fact on a message board I've been on for at least 8 years and I was shocked at how encouraging most people were. Maybe shocked isn't the right sentiment... disappointed I think may be the most appropriate descriptive term. I know they were being supportive but it made me wonder where is that level of support when I post that I returned to the gym or had a good day food wise?
I did not post it to "test" them but it made me think about where I get support from and how that plays a role in this journey. Similarly, I have not been to the gym since last weekend and my workout buddy and I spoke today and she worked out and I was in bed all day and she didn't say "well think about doing 30 mins or something?"
Maybe I am not clear on what my wants and needs are and that isnt fair to others. I always work off the assumption people will give me what I would give to them. But in reality if I don't say it how can they know?
Anyway I went online looking up weight loss surgery info and ended up on you tube watching various videos and good lawd now I know the meaning of aversion therapy lol I went to the gym and did 60 mins on the elliptical after my research lol! I don't think I've ever done that before! Ever. I bought a new book by Kathy Freston called Quantum Wellness-A Practical & Spiritual Guide to Health & Happiness. Sounds right up my alley. I'll let you know how it goes!
I also bought Oxygen Magazine and my girl Alicia Marie had a great pic & quote!
"I can't
is a
state of mind
I won't
entertain"
4 comments:
I am so sorry that you are not getting the support you're looking for. The fact that you went on YouTube, did research, and were inspired to get back to the gym is great! I need to get back to the gym but I'm so angry. Angry in my soul and my cells. I don't want to punish the fat off my body. I want to WANT to be healthy. That book you're reading sounds interesting. I hope you post about what you learn from reading it :-)
Hi Lisa!! Thanks I will update re: the book its good so far. Start off one day at a time one walk at a time or try a class like Body Combat or kickboxing (lol) that'll help with the anger :0)
Hey there Lawyergal!
WLS is a serious step. A HUGE step! I remember a few years ago, a friend of mine considered WLS and asked me to join her a the doctor's office. I went to the meeting that he held with about twelve other people, and everyone in the meeting was in serious need of weight loss, and for some, WLS was their last chance. No one there was bedridden, or anything like that, they just really needed some help. They were people who lacked motivation to make small changes, because they didn't see the benefits, or they had other health issues that prevented them from being as active as they wanted to be. My friend was not like them, but she still wanted the surgery because as she put it, "I'm tired of trying, I need something to work, like yesterday!"
I don't think that you are in that boat, LG! I think that you are very motivated, and diligent, I just think that you have hit a snag.
There are several options to WLS. One that you may want to consider is a coach. Like a life coach, but someone who works primarily with weightloss/fitness. Not so much like a personal trainer, and more like someone who is helping you to meet your goal on your terms, they are just there to offer their support.
I read your post on my blog, and I wish I had responded sooner. Don't be down. YOU CAN DO IT!
Remember Max Ehrman's Desirderata:
"be gentle with yourself".
Be well,
Dai
PS - I use a little old Fuji A-500. It's time for an upgrade however, it doesn't take pics well that are very bright or moderately dark. It's perfect, however, for stills outside. :)
Thanks Dai!!! I appreicate your kind words and you are right I do think its right for someone who is at their wits end and I don't feel like I am there but it is so hard sometimes :0( But I ma feeling better, stronger, and more focused!
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